For the Love of Lord Baltimore! Landscapes of Baltimore by Crystal Moll

Never there were more beautiful painted landscapes of a city than the ones of Baltimore painted by Crystal Moll.

IN my way to get money from a ATM to pay off a debt with my psychiatrist, I was lucky enough to come across a solitary and lonely flyer announcing Crystal Moll's exhibit. I was even luckier to just go to it after a last minute decision while making some copies in a Kinko's in Glen Burnie.

I and my wife drove 20 miles away from Baltimore (thank God she wasn't PMSing anymore) in a adventure to find painter Crystal Moll's house. We had no idea if the paintings would be any interesting , all we really knew is that complimentary wine would be provided. Knowing that a glass of good wine is much more expensive than two gallons of gasoline, off we drove.

Now, I have to say something, I came back from the exhibit inebriated. Inebriated not by excess of alcohol (because I don't drink anyway. I am crazy enough already. I don't need no chemical help thank you very much). I only drank the beauty from the, as said before, most beautiful painted landscapes I've ever seen of a city. I am glad that the city in those pictures (most of them, at least) was Baltimore.

Crysta Moll, as I understand, has been compared to Edward Hopper. In my humble opinion (Actually, you know by now, my opinion is never humble), she is much better than him. A Edward Hopper's painting doesn't make life any better. Crystal Moll's paintings are life itself. Edward Hopper's paintings have people in it, and who like people, anyway? Crystal Moll's paintings have no people, and mostly no cars either. One get to see beauty and just beauty, without someone with their ugly face in it and without a car parked in front of your face.

Summarizing, take your head out of the hole of limited intelligence where you keep it, and go find some of Crystal Moll's pictures (All you have to do is to click on the damn links above). If you die without seeing any of them, your eyes weren't worth having, and the worms will gag biting them after your death.

If you don't love yourself enough to go see the pictures, do it at least for the Love of Lord Baltimore.

The Baltimorean version of the Japanese version of Seven-Eleven

Last night I was insomniac. The overcharge of boredom, irritation, meaningless idle time with nothing to distract me from myself made me think a comparison of the ethical principles and consequences of me writing this blog and emptying out my bowels. Well, the value and meaning of the things I put down in both occasions are about the same. The difference is that what I put down in the bathroom goes to nevermore with the flush. Here at BaltimoreEvermore what I put down will stay around, stinking up everything and coming back to haunt me forever.

OK. Enough of Ethics and high moral Philosophy. Let's talk about "Services General", the coolest Laundromat in the World (They call themselves "Prepaid Services center"). That is where Cafe Justo is (Don't panic. I won't talk again about the divine macaroon they sell. I've talked enough about it in the last blog). ...

Wow! I just found out that "Service General" is actually a chain and has a website...



No surprise there, though. If even someone like me is allowed to have a blog, anything is morally possible.

So, "Service General" is really cool. It has Cafe Justo and its macaroon (oops! I talked about it again), a huge laundromat. You can buy a huge variety of snacks there, cash checks, buy money orders, play lottery, make a call on a pay phone (Does anybody still knows what a payphone is?), consult a lawyer (!!!! :O), and the most incredible of everything, you can play in the last surviving Pac-man machine in the whole planet. Yes, they have a Pac-man machine and etc, etc, etc, etc, etc, etc.

That place reminds me very much of Seven-eleven stores in Japan where you can buy anything and a little bit more. Tokyo alone has around 1,600 of them. And Japan has 1/3 of all seven-eleven stores in the world, more than the US. I have to remind you that Japan is slightly smaller than California. Now, you see, here in the US you can't spit out from inside your car without hitting a Seven-Eleven. In Japan, I imagine, everybody lives in a Seven-Eleven because all buildings are Seven-Eleven.

Incredibly, two things you can't find in a Japanese Seven-eleven are Slurpees (!!!) and Big Gulp (because the Japanese think humans should drink soda, not swim in it).

OK. Enough. This blog is boring my eyeballs off today. But, you should go to General Services on 501 S. Broadway in Fells Point. Even if it is just to see pre-historic devices that your ancestors couldn't live without: payphones and Pac-man machines...

...or just go for Cafe Justo's macaroons.

I am sorry again. Hopefully, I won't keep writing this blog for too long for the sake of your sanity.

The Best Macaroon of the Whole Known and Unknown Universe

I was vehemently decided to write today about two eminent figures that are (or were) related to Baltimore. There were dumbly forgotten in yesterday's list: Francis Scott Key (A guy who enjoyed writing songs while other people were used as cannon targets) and Michael Phelps (The World most famous marijuana user. No, wait. That is Bob Marley. What is Phelps famous for again?).

Anyway, I was going to use this page to write about history and refined culture. That won't happen though. This afternoon I happened to stop at a new coffee joint in town and eat the best macaroon in the whole known and unknown Universe. While eating that macaroon, and because I ate it, I saw Jesus, the angels and all the saints singing Amen.

For the one who thinks that Baltimore sucks, you should know that Baltimore rules big time. But, if you still insist on thinking that Baltimore sucks, I tell you to eat the Cafe Justo's macaroon. The joint is at 501 S Broadway in whatever-that-neighborhood is called. That one macaroon alone is gonna change your opinion about the whole city. Your miserable life won't turn around. You will remain the same old dumb piece of rag. But, you are gonna actually love yourself for the first time ever for giving yourself the gift of going out and eating that macaroon.

That macaroon is the Heaven that all holy books talk about. Moist, sweet, nurturing, with several layers of different intense heavenly pleasures (dense dark chocolate, moist coconut, sweet condensed milk, nurturing pieces of nuts, and everything else that makes one blissful and enlightened). Too bad I didn't die while eating that macaroon. I would have died with my soul saved from the pits of hell, and my life deemed worth by God.

The Cafe (Cafe Justo - 501 S Broadway - Baltimore, MD) is inside a laundromat. That laundromat is a universe apart itself. That makes the Macaroon a universe apart inside a universe apart.

I'll talk about the Laundromat tomorrow. Don't bother me with that now.

By the way, the photo above is not of the macarron (If you waste your time reading my blogs, you are the kind of person that need this kind of explanation). It is a cafe latte skillfully and beautifully prepared at Cafe Justo. See the flower? No? You need glasses and a higher IQ, then.

OK. Now you go out and make Cafe Justo rich buying macaroons. That way I may get to eat their macaroons for free.

P.S. I am sorry, really sorry. I know I offended many people out there. But, you shouldn't be wasting your time reading my blogs anyway

Bye bye and so long. Good look choosing blogs to read next time.

Famous People from Baltimore

A little Baltimore trivia today. The crab you see above looks like from before the time when America started nose diving into bankruptcy. Then, every city in this nation had money to put fiberglass animals on every corner with some make up painted or sculptured by an artist with a lot of time to spare.

This crab is located two blocks from my house in South Baltimore (Please, don’t steal it. And, please, don't try to find my house if you find the crab). It is kind of an interesting one though. It shows 12 famous people related to Baltimore. The ones you see in the picture are:

. Cab Calloway ( Jazz singer and bandleader, Dizzy Gillespie boss for a while. ).

. Babe Ruth ( You know him. If you don’t, you got a mental health problem. ).

. Barbara Mikulski ( First female senator in Maryland – still working by the way. ).

. Eubie Blake ( Wrote and directed first Broadway music exclusively made by Africa-Americans. ).

. Frank Zappa ( I don’t know what is so great about his music, but he is a Rock Idol regardless of my opinion. ).

On the back of the crab:

. Billie Holliday (Don’t say that you don’t know her or I’ll slap you.).

. Kweisi Mfume ( Saved NAACP from bankruptcy. ).

. H. L. Meken ( His name is misspelled. It is supposed to be Mecken. He must be turning in his grave, because he was a big wig writer and English language scholar. Well known for his criticism of the “Monkey” trials too. Nickname: The sage of Baltimore).

. Thurgood Marshall (If you say that you don’t know him, I’ll slap you twice. ).

. Pam Shriver ( She won 133 top-levels tennis titles. Is human life long enough for that? I guess she was the female Tiger Woods of tennis ).

Now some more people related to Baltimore that didn’t fit in the crab:

David Abercrombie ( Abercrombie & Fitch ), John Astin ( Addams Family’s dad. As if it wasn’t enough having Edgar Allan Poe related to this city ), Michael Bloomberg (John Hopkins graduate), David Byrne ( Talking heads ), Ben Carson ( I don’t wanna talk about this ), Tom Clancy ( If you haven’t seen a movie based in one of his books, you must be blind ), Kevin Clash ( puppeteer of Sesame street’s Elmo. Not important, but cute ), Thomas D’Alesandro Jr (Nanci Pelosi’s father. Whatever.), Frederick Douglas (Abraham Lincoln’s African-American twin), Philip Glass (Why isn’t he on the crab? ), Louis Hamman ( Hamman’s sign, Hamman’s syndrome, Hamman-Rich syndrome. Creepy. ), Nanci Pelosi ( Are you kidding me?! I had no idea. ), Mike Rowe (Discovery channel’s Dirty Job’s host. He must be from Baltimore all right. ), Sargent Shriver (“Driving force behind the creation of the Peace Corps.), Kathleen Turner ( UMD graduate ), Montel Williams ( Oh, please… as if there wasn’t enough tacky in this town).

OK. If you aren’t sick yet of reading names, you can click on the link below and find more famous people related to this Baltimore. As you see there aren’t enough crabs in the Chesapeake Bay to paint all these people on.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_people_from_Baltimore

Bye bye and so long. ( For today at least ).

Rolling Stones Magazine Elects Baltimore Best Music Scene

For all I have seen since moving here, Baltimore being elected by the Rolling Stone Magazine the best music scene in America is not a surprise.

When one opens the local alternative newspapers here (Baltimore City Paper, The Urbanite, etc), ads are all over for live music places in town.

So, if you like alternative music, Baltimore is the place to come and be. The tickets aren't expensive either. Places like 8x10 have 5 bands for $5 one Tuesday a month. That is more band that one can't take in one night. It comes to a point that enough is enough and you go home for having something more than worth your 5 bucks and doesn't even make a point of seeing the five bands.

Bellow is the link for the Rolling Stones article on Baltimore Music Scene.

www.rollingstone.com/news/coverstory/20200609/page/34

You can also read about the best-of-Baltimore in an article written by Evan Serpick (an Rolling Stone editor ).

www.rollingstone.com/blogs/caprilounge/2008/04/best-of-baltimore.php

OK. Enough is enough

See you, Hon